The Secret to Being Persuasive Even If You’re an Introvert

Why learn to be persuasive when you own a digital business?

That’s what one of my friends asked me recently.

He continued:

You see, we, creators of digital businesses are mostly low-key introverts. We don’t want to communicate daily and avoid hard sales or pushy presentations. That is exactly the reason we are so successful in digital businesses.

I agree. You don’t talk to customers a lot. Yet your digital assets do.

How persuasive do you think you are on a scale from 1 to 10?

If your answer is somewhere below 8, it means that everything you create has approximately the same ability to persuade other people. Your ability to influence people’s decisions is not only about your direct communication with customers.

It’s about…

  • Your landing page conversion rate
  • Your returning customer rate
  • Your price per click

Your ability to persuade people affects sales of your products and services. Even if you are running a digital business, people are always at the heart of it. You sell to people, you order from people, and you employ and fire people. If you know how to persuade people, you are then able to use the same techniques when creating landing pages, writing emails, or crafting ad copy.

It’s only the beginning. Using the power of persuasion, not only you can maximize results from any business endeavors, but also build successful relationships with your customers and/or employees and live a happier and healthier life.

Here are some insights I learned the hard way. And – spoiler alert – being persuasive has nothing to do with being pushy or off-setting.

Before we continue, a word of advice (I rarely do that).

Be honest!

Any article on persuasion – including this one – will list a dozen tricks you can use to reinforce trust towards you when you interact with people. However, if you’re not honest in your smile, if you forcedly compliment your companion, they will immediately feel it and it’ll backfire on you.

4 Ways to Become More Persuasive Even If You’re an Introvert

Here’s what I was surprised to learn at 35.

Any conversation with other people has 3 parts:

  • Facts
  • Feelings
  • After effects

While facts are often a central part of a business conversation, feelings, let alone after-effects, are mostly overlooked.

In fact, what was the last time you were consciously concerned about the feelings and after-effects that your words and behavior have had on another person?

Meanwhile, unless you think deeply about the other person’s feelings, you’ll never be able to sell them any service or product. Truth is, people don’t just buy any products or services.

People will only buy something to change the way how they feel.

This isn’t only about sales. It’s about our relationships.

Make a person laugh and they will like you immediately. Say one wrong thing and you will scar the relationship for a lifetime.

Think about that friend or colleague who you truly adore. Why do you worship this friendship in the first place? I bet you $10,000 that it isn’t about scientific discussions. It’s about how you feel around this person. Empowered, entertained, or downright crazy, it’s all about the warm waves going inside during a conversation and that smile on your face on your way home after meeting them.

Do you know what feelings other people around you have? Do they have happy memories of being with you? It’s time to ask yourself some questions.

If you don’t feel like the perfect guy here, don’t worry.

It’s never too late to change your behavior.

Make sure you think about it during your next interaction with your prospect.

1. Ask them questions

It’s not possible to build a meaningful relationship without getting to know the person in front of you.

Remember your behavior when you first met a person you were in love with. You responded to any message from them instantly. Literally, anything they would have to say to you was of high importance to you, whether it was about the breakfast they’ve eaten the other day or the breed of their friend’s cat.

If you are speaking to a customer, show genuine interest in them. They deserve it. Again, if they’re paying for your products and services, you definitely have something in common you both enjoy, it’s up to you to find it.

2. Connect with their stories emotionally

Don’t forget to react to their words. It may not have any sense at all but it’s the acceptance of their feelings that creates a special bond between you both.

  • It must’ve been really difficult for you
  • You must’ve been really proud!
  • No way, how could that happen

Many people dismiss it as a way too obvious a trick.

While communicating offline, people read non-verbal signals from your body.

In online communication, you can facilitate the process and let them know that you understand their mood and you’re on the same wavelength by connecting with them emotionally.

3. Give positive reinforcement

Connecting with people’s emotions is important, yet you can win hearts by adding some positive reinforcement.

  • Here’s what I like about you

If you like someone, be sure to explicitly tell them you do.

I can’t emphasize that enough. Please tell people who are awesome that they’re awesome. Not only it’s beneficial because they will probably like you, but you’ll also just increase the number of good people around.

We all have moments of self-doubt and once their enthusiasm wears off, they’ll fondly remember your words and just keep on doing these great things. Wildly, good people have tons of self-doubt.

  • Here’s what you’re really great at

One of my favorite moments in life is telling people what they’re good at. I remind myself about doing this almost every day.


Because I constantly see talented gifted people losing their confidence and swimming in oceans of self-doubt while pricks are smirking their way on a career ladder.

  • I can see it from your point of view

If you can’t agree with your counterparty, you can at least do them a favor and try to understand their logic and their arguments. That will create a connection between you and another person even if you don’t share their beliefs and values.

Positive reinforcement is the most effective means of influencing behavior.

4. Be someone who has their best interests at heart

As an owner of a digital business, I frequently order services from other sellers.

Do you know the reason I’m mostly disappointed in the services that I order?

I see lots of people trying to sell me whatever they have without really trying to help me.

I don’t feel that they’re on my side or even trying to help. I feel like I’m going through a terrible rip-off.

When you see a potential customer who can’t decide on your product, there’s a simple sequence of steps to follow for a happy outcome.

  1. Be very interested in why they are considering your product.
  2. Be indecisive too, it’ll create a connection between you
  3. Ask them which option they prefer
  4. Ask why they prefer the option that they state
  5. Agree with them whatever they say

Long-term successful sales are always about fostering relationships. Give them honest advice and you will build a relationship that will last. Even if they don’t purchase from you now.


This article is about persuasion and I used to think it was about learning how to explain to people why they need something that they don’t need at all.

It turned out, that persuasion and sales are not about putting a shine on a pile of BS.

  • People like people who are like them.
  • People like people who respect their beliefs and values.
  • Eventually, people buy people first.

Thus, if you’re thinking about starting or expanding your business, learning how to be persuasive is essential.

Being persuasive is not about your sales pitch though.

Being persuasive means building real relationships with people, being genuinely interested in them, caring about them, and working on real relationship.


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